Taking Stock of my writing

1.      What was your main point (thesis)?  “The Moral of the Story”?

-the main point of my story was to show the audience a time in my life that i resorted to writing to help me get through a stressful situation and how i still use it today. 

2.      Who was your audience?  What did you assume about them?  What “audience needs” did you have to consider in writing the paper?  How did you tailor your writing to them?

-my audience was anybody. i assumed they new nothing about me, but i assumed they had all gone through some sort of stressful situation where their mind did not let them get ahead of itself. I told them what my situation was, how I felt, how i overcame it, and how it helped me.

3.      What feedback or reactions did you get at various times while composing this paper, and how was this helpful?  What other kinds of input or support did you get from classmates, teacher, tutors, others?  Were you able to make use of it?  How, or why not?

- I got a lot of feedback saying that the way I explained my point of view was easily understood and that my small details that were included made my narrative have a better "flow". They liked the way it came together 

4.      What did you find interesting about the process you went through in writing this paper, and what did you learn from it?

- I found that this was actually a harder project then i thought. Adding enough details while still keeping on the main track of my narrative proved to be a challenge but i think it came together well. 

5.      What questions do you have for me about the paper?  (What part(s) of the paper would you like me to focus on?  What do you see as the paper’s strengths, and what areas are you unsure of?)
- I wasn't sure about the last few paragraphs describing the actual process of when i started writing and wasn't sure if i could add more without taking out a whole section of the essay and replacing it somewhere else. The ending is also quite abrupt in that i probably could have written a better sentence then "Definitely a positive experience". 

Ad for marine recuiting

AD for Marine Recruiting

This ad displays the persuasive technique used by marine recruiters during the given time period.  It uses symbolism such as a gun with a bayonet to depict the violent and heroic nature of enlisting and becoming a marine. It also uses diction such as "Semper Fidelis" to appeal to the honor of the reader and persuade him to connect honor with the marine corps. Semper Fidelis is a latin phrase that means "always loyal" which is shown by the 3 marines. You can tell because they look exhausted and beaten up yet they are still pushing on and fighting until the war is won or they die trying. They use an older uniformed soldier in the picture as a way of displaying their interconnection and history in the way their techniques of fighting and loyalty has stayed the same for over 100 years. As if the old soldier could fight just as well with the two in the front despite the generation gap.

• Semper Fidelis=loyalty/honor 
• 168th Anniversary=tradition/belonging
• Posture=Action
• Guns=Violence
• background smoke= war and violence
• eagle on the marine pendant=power/dominance
• drums= drums serve to unite soldiers when marching which therefore symbolizes in this context the unity of being part of the marine corps
• Clothing= determination

Ad analysis

Ads

1.        PETA, Mercy for Animals, American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (animal rights)

2.      People who use products that use animals for experiments or animals furs.  People who wear fur.  Reverse psych, they’re actually for animal cruelty

3.       Because they all seem to be guilt tripping people by using pets as a weapon against us.

4.      The purpose is to inform the public of animal rights to respect animals.  The ads give the message that the public should stop wearing at furs or to deter us from some brands or stores.

5.       By using home pets as a rhetorical tool against us.  Pathos.  Emotional level.

6.       That these ads have no idea what they’re talking about, what does your dog have to do with wearing fur? We don’t skin dogs.  The bars on the Walmart ad give us a feeling of imprisonment, and cruelty.  The dog with the ball in his mouth makes an emotional connection that sparks innocents.

7.  They persuade the audience to think we buy and sympathize with animals

Writers Blog Post paraphrasing, summaries, and quotes

Mad Men: Stillbirth of the American Dream

Summary:

Using examples from the popular TV show Mad Men, Heather Havrilesky gives her input on what the modern day American dream is compared to what it used to be. She states that much like the characters in the show, people in the real world always want more then they had before.

Paraphrase:

In the analysis of Mad Men: Stillbirth of the American dream, television critic Heather Havrilesky examines and concludes how the TV show Mad Men models the modern day view of the American dream that “. . . Americans are constantly in search of an upgrade. . .” (paragraph 1). She explains that the show takes place in the advertising age of the 60’s and that this point in time marked the beginning of America’s cupidity that still stands today.

The characters Don and Peggy always seem to be on the edge of happiness. There is always that one missing thing that needs to be satisfied for them to be comfortable and they will pursue that satisfaction no matter what the cost. This is much like modern America in the way that we are always looking for something bigger and better. Havrilesky continues through her analysis describing other characters’ appearances and personalities. They accurately depict the 1960’s and the events that led to the more greedy America that we live in today.

Quote:

“. . . the birth of the advertising age coincides directly with the birth of our discontent as a nation. . .”

Summary of Rubins essay

Rubins analysis of Coca Cola’s ad explained that Coca Cola used ads based on the values of time. This means that throughout Coca-Cola’s history, they have changed the ads based on how America’s working life was. She eventually leads up to this conclusion by first explaining the significance of the 1950’s ad. She makes most of her conclusion based on the people below the vending machine that are all smiling and having a good time and then directing your attention to their appearance. It showed 3 men in different military branches, and two men who were working citizens. She notes that there are no women because the ad was directed toward men for the reason of work. Workers being (mostly) men, and not women allowed Coca-Cola to use the slogan “A welcome host to workers” which explains their target audience at the time.

Later in the essay when Rubin explains how the values of time affected the intended audience. She gives an example saying that instead of going after the workforce and the American identity, Coca-Cola would probably go after a more ethnic audience today. So instead of paying detail to clothing, work position, and events, they would instead go after a younger and more diverse skin colored audience who are all happy and would mainly appeal to modern society.

Analysis essay sample

Lantry identifies the audience as american women who are looking for a man. Her purpose was to explain how women are urged to smell and look attractive for men to reach their ultimate goal of "catching a man". She uses several pictures from ads in the 20's, 30's, and 50's about soap and mouthwash where each of which display a pictures of women who don't look happy or who look busy using the product to find a significant other. Lantry analyzes the clothing of the women as well and how they appear to stand out and look a little more fancy then normal. Almost like they have everything in life except a man and the only thing they need to do is buy that product to make their life complete.

Literacy Narrative (Rough Draft)

My junior year of highschool was a struggle for me. i did not enjoy getting up every morning and returning to the place that made me so negative. everything seemed like it was deteriorating as far as grades and motivation went. But my AP Lang class did something different for me. It taught me important writing techniques, good diction and syntax, yes, but it also taught me something personal. it taught me that i had the freedom to write whatever i had on my mind in the exact way that i saw (or heard) it.

Things were not going “swimmingly” for me between 16 and 17 years old. Most of my grades were C’s, and i thought i could never get ahead in school anymore. Homework papers were piling up like leaves in the fall time, my concentration was smeared around like paint on canvas, and on top of all that, the question that was constantly asked, “where are you going to apply for college?” always hovered around somewhere.

with all this pressure on me, i could not think but to do one thing and that was to stop caring about myself and to become a machine who’s only mission was to do the work that was set in front of it. this worked a little, it didnt get me ahead, but it kept me going. i would do enough work to get me by instead of doing a good job for myself. i think my AP Lang teacher, Mrs. Landvatter, saw that. she was always very involved in her students but i think i stood out to her. I had her the previous year for english and always did a terrific job with my writing which is why i think she noticed something was wrong. she saw that i was struggling with timed writes, rhetorical writing,   etc, and when she confronted me about it i always questioned how any of it was going to help me in life.

of course that was quite an ignorant thing to say now that im older. but it was true, i was tired of writing things that i didnt understand the purpose of. not just in english, but school in general. i was tired of doing things that didnt have an explained purpose and i was tired of failing at something i didnt want to do in the first place, i had to say that somehow. i had to somehow tell the world how i felt about it but i didnt know where to start. there were too many issues that i couldnt explain at once. finally, sometime between march and april of that year, i decided i just needed to see what the problem was and solve it for myself. i knew nobody was going to help me, i mean, why would they? it wasnt their problem. so one friday night after school, i was playing guitar and watching TV in my room when i thought to myself, “what if i just wrote down every single thing that popped into my head the exact way that i see it?”. it was a grand idea i thought. i would be able to write what i wanted and not be graded on a scale to judge if i was passing or not. it was a new way of writing for me and i dubbed it “speak the mind”. so i set my guitar on my bed and pulled out my laptop, opened a word document and just like that i literally began speaking my mind.

for the first time in a while words were just flowing from my fingertips and i did not once forget what point i was trying to make because it really didnt matter. the only point of typing everything was to say what i wanted and read back to myself what i wrote. it was the most enjoyable writing experience i have ever had.

i wrote what was on my mind about school, working, how life was going in general, etc. it was extremely satisfying and stress relieving to sit back and let my mind wander but still be able to track what i had thought. it was like a holding tank for all my thoughts and once i put it all down, i could search for the ones i liked and collect them; just like a fish tank. there was no right or wrong way to write like there was in my English class, no boundaries on what i could say, and no limit to what i could write. it was like a large middle finger to all the formal techniques of writing and everything i was taught to write, and it made me feel like i had come up with my own style of writing.

After a solid 2.5 hours of writing, i decided it was time to eat dinner. when i put my laptop away and stood up, i had a much different feeling. for once, my mind was at peace and i could enjoy something without thinking about all the things i had been struggling with. it was almost as if the world was asking me to write everything i had on my mind and when i finally did, all i had was silence in my head. it was great.

i took this experience with me to school the following week. Things seemed to be more relaxed and less critical. it didnt feel like the world was out to get me anymore, at least not as much. in fact, i still use this method of writing every once in awhile when i need to take a moment and look at my life. whenever i feel like there is too much going on, ill open up a document and just begin typing an update of my life and what has been happening. definitely a positive experience.

p.138 & p141

Week: 1.       Making a choice of what to eat about 4 times a day 2.       When to go to bed- 7 days 3.       When to wake up- 5 days 4.       What vehicle I want to drive- about 2 times a day 7 days a week 5.       do I want to wear glasses or contacts affected how frustrated or lazy I want to be every day.

Last month: 1.       When do I want to hang out with my friends? This decision always affected my emotions and social planning 2.       Do I want another job and where? I want a part time job somewhere that doesn’t drain all my time from doing things I love, but I still need to make enough money to not live paycheck to paycheck. 3.       What do I want to study? Ive spent the last 2 years of my life considering things that would be good for me to study, but what do I actually WANT to study? I should start making more choices for what I want instead of what I think I should do.

Last year: 1.       What do I want to do with my life? The hardest decision I have ever had to make that is still unanswered and causes constant anxiety and stress 2.       What college do I want to go to? How much money do I want to be spending on my education? It is affected by my career choice which is still on hold 3.       Did I want to work this summer? I didn’t know if I wanted to work or try to hang out with my friends before they went to college. I considered what I was going to do for money and how much time it would allow for me to have fun 4.       Where did I want to work? I wanted to work somewhere that would be fun. Something that paid pretty well. 5.       I decided to work for a landscape/general contracting company 40hrs/week and it was fun but if I could do it again I would have only worked part time. I missed out on seeing people I loved to save money for a motorcycle.

Ebay: 1.       Bidding 2.       Searing is more mixed then straight forward 3.       Not always honest 4.       Not always posted locally 5.       Format is kind of plain and seems outdated.

Craigslist: 1.       Direct searches to what you want 2.       Prices are not competitive 3.       Description is a lot better 4.       User friendly 5.       Never a deadline on when something is going to be sold. 6.       Craigslist is more of a “for sale” website then an auction website like ebay.

Potential narrative topics

AP Lang junior year of highschool- write an essay on how something influences you in your life

1.) A clearly identified event:
In junior year of high school, my AP Lang teacher Mrs. Landvatter asked us to write an essay at least 3 pages long about something that has influenced us in our lives. I was struggling with school that year and the only thing that ever seemed to comfort me was music and playing guitar. so i wrote about music, but not just any music, I wrote about metal.

2.) a clearly described setting:
it was an assignment we worked on for about a week straight in class mostly unless we didnt get to a specific milestone. class was always dull-lit because our teacher used two lamps with the windows open to save energy. it wasnt necessarily bad, it was just different from what you'd normally picture a classroom. the tables were arranged like a big U and i sat at the back left of it. right where Landvatter could see me messing around and being a fool.

3.)Vivid descriptive details
Music at the time was my freedom. i would come home from school, exhausted and angry at how i was doing academically and resort to music. it was my exploration and joy. Sometimes i would even listen to mozart while doing algebra to help me relax and focus. Around the time that this assignment was given, i started listening to metal. not the metal that comes to most minds though. not some long haired hippie screaming about killing someone. i listened to Black Sabbath, Electric Wizard, Egypt, Electric moon, etc. it was this new form of empowering audio that felt like heavy sludge or something flowing into my brain. it was my own escape that i was exploring and it was an amazing style of music that i had never hear before. and it was my motivation for writing that english paper cause it was the one time i could express my feelings about the school and pretty much give a middle finger to it all while still getting an A. the assignment was a completely personal essay and i knew i could do well on it. i knew that as much as my teacher didnt want me to do something like that, i was going to be let off the hook.

4.) a consistent point of view:
this class was a good class, but my head just wasnt always in it. i was doing better by this time of the year, but it was still a challenge. i knew i hadn't passed my AP test and that was something i wasnt very confident in from the beginning. but i knew i had gotten better at writing, i had always been a good writer. i just didnt always put the effort in it and Mrs. Landvatter knew that. she knew i had it in me but i never took her seriously because i didnt want to accept her help. but like i said, i was doing better. so i was asking for help more often and things were getting better. but this assignment was my chance to explain to her and the class of how i felt about highschool and how much music influenced me during that time.

5.) A clear point
this essay was a positive thing for my grade, as well as my relationship with my teacher. She knew i had the potential to write amazing things and she had seen that in the previous year but since i lost interest in school, i hadnt been giving it much effort. so for her to be okay with the class and myself writing something as personal as we wanted and sharing it with the class it was just a positive experience. an effort with no suppression in what we wanted to write about as long as we wrote it in a clear style.

literacy- a lineage

Luken begins her narrative by introducing her father and how he was her inspiration to pursue literacy. She gives a little background of the relationship her father and literacy had with her when she was young before moving deeper into the narrative.

Instead of just telling about the poem they read everyday, she writes it in the narrative which actually shows the reader what she read and allows the reader to fully understand the piece.

She further describes her father in paragraph 3 as a "jack of all trades artist" and tells a bit about his past and reason to pursue the arts instead of becoming an English professor. Details like these make the characters in the narrative grow and become more familiar to the reader.

Luken tells about how she would act out stories that she wrote herself and how she loved reading and being told stories. Details like that show the reader how dedicated Luken was to her profession even at an early age.

Although her father influenced her brothers as well, Luken turned out to be the one who was most passionate and shared that passion for writing with her father. She explains that the ability to use and understand language was very important to her father, and because of this, she believes that majoring in French was a good choice because it poses a constant challenge to her when writing or reading it.

At the end of the narrative she explains the present day relationship with her father and how he always asks what she's reading, what she thinks about it, and together they discuss it. It's a tradition that  they've kept going.

Other rhetoric views

After reading some of the other definitions of rhetoric, it has come to my attention that thinking rhetorically may be actually listening to others speak instead of just literacy. Thinking rhetorically means more to see something from another persons point of view and listen to them to create an influence on your own thoughts. It is also used as the "hook" to attract readers.

Writers blog chapters 3 & 5

To me, rhetoric is the strategic use of words and writing to persuade and extend a point of view from a fair, and credible standpoint. Thinking and acting rhetorically are a process that people use everyday that cannot work without the use of the other. For example, if somebody asks you to write an essay on if dangerous breeds of dogs should be outlawed or not, you’re going to start by thinking of the question, and how to apply your opinion to it in a respectable and professional way. You’ll gather all your thoughts, knowledge, facts, etc. and organize them in a neat, powerful form. Then you will act on it. Acting rhetorically should be a similar form to thinking rhetorically but the way in which you deliver your essay matters tremendously on word choice and the way you organize your claim. You wouldn’t want to begin all the opinions you have with hateful words and take on a hostile tone. You would start by addressing your claim, backing it up with facts and statistics, acknowledging a counter argument and proving it wrong, and ending with a summarization of your essay. Acting rhetorically is the actual delivery whereas thinking rhetorically is the process of how you are going to begin.

Rhetorical Situations- Narratives

p.104
5.Lynyrd Skynyrd’s “Gimme Three Steps” tells a memory about Ronnie Van Zant and how he was held at gunpoint for talking to a woman who had a boyfriend.

I broke a lampshade in Wendy’s by accident with my motorcycle helmet.

My friend Kyle always falls in the water when we’re duck hunting.

I threw up in front of an Air force officer during a guest speaker presentation of the military in my freshman year of high school.

We made a movie in high school called “The Fast and Ghetto” on youtube for my friends’ Video 1 project.

9. I think that stories told from videos are more powerful. You see the emotions and facial expressions given from the teller which add more to the experience of the story.

p.107 
12. I think one of my favorite ways of listening to a story is by watching or reading a documentary on it because it is usually written or told from the person who experienced it. It has a better effect on learning because it is told right from the source.

YouTube is also a great place to hear stories. I find that people who make videos usually tell a story about something they are doing even if that is not the goal.

Summary
Our group agree's that narratives delivered by video and written media holds more of an impact on the reader